Beyond the Labels: Meet Terry Miller

Editor's Note: This article is the first in a DyeStat series about transgender athletes in track and field and the issues that surround their participation in the sport. In this opening installment, Bloomfield CT's Terry Miller is profiled.

By Mary Albl of DyeStat

Terry Miller has heard and read plenty of words used to describe her over the past year.

Some of the words have been muttered from the stands at track meets. Others whispered among competitors at the starting blocks. Some words have been typed into the comment sections of online articles. Others, written in angry letters to public officials.

Few of those words are as bold or celebratory as the ones Miller selects to describe herself:

Brave. Intelligent. Hollywood.

It was a year ago when Miller emerged on the national radar because of her gender identity and an ability to run fast. She’s known for being a high school transgender black female sprinter from Hartford, Conn. She finished the 2019 indoor track and field season with the seventh-fastest 55-meter dash time in the country, 6.91 seconds.

Since she started winning, many have said that Miller should be running with the boys. They say she’s male. They say she shouldn’t be running at all, that what she’s doing isn’t fair. 

“All the stuff out there … she sees it. She knows it. She hears it. It affects her,” said Allison Borawski, Miller’s Bloomfield High Spanish teacher, and the school’s assistant athletic director. “(But) she’s got a lot of perspective. I always tell her she’s wiser than her age. She’s got a reasonable view of the world, even though she’s been through so much.”

On a Sunday in April at the Aqua Turf Club in Plantsville, Conn., and all those words – brave, Hollywood, intelligent, even some the bad ones – have come full circle.

“Imagine you’re a teenager. Imagine you’re a teenager of color. Imagine you’re a transgender teenager of color,” Connecticut Sports Writers’ Alliance spokesman John Holt says into a microphone in front of a captivated audience at the Turf Club.

“You identify as transgender. But just as importantly, you identify as an athlete. You identify as a girl … Some are calling you mentally ill. Some are calling you a cheater.”

Alongside friend and fellow Connecticut sprinter and female transgender student-athlete Andraya Yearwood, Miller sits silently at the front of the room listening to these words read aloud. Miller and Yearwood have been selected as the co-recipients of the 2019 Bob Casey Courage Award by the Connecticut Sports Writers’ Alliance.

After nearly five minutes of waiting, it’s time for Miller and Yearwood to step up and receive their awards.

Miller approaches the lectern, her pink nails clutching her phone. She’s dressed in a sleek white and tanned patterned long sleeve dress. She’s wearing high heels. There is a standing ovation.

Miller steps forward when it is her turn to speak. She smiles and jokes that her speech is kind of long. Spurts of laughter spill from the audience. Her left hand holds onto the mic, while her right hand holds her phone so she can view the screen where her speech is located. She begins to talk fast, but the words from her mouth come out with truth and sincerity. She talks about all the support she has in her life. Her coaches. Teammates. Her former coaches and and athletic directors. She thanks her family and her voice begins to tremble.

More raw emotions spills out as Miller re-reads the same sentence.

“I don’t realize how brave I am by just being me,” Miller says.

BRAVE

It was in the seventh grade when Miller came out and told her parents that she identifies as a girl.

“I always knew when I was younger,” said Miller, adding that she preferred dressing ‘girly’ growing up.

But it wasn’t until the summer between her ninth and 10th grade years when she started to transition to being a girl.

“It was something new, but it made me happy,” Miller said.

Happiness is a feeling that developed for Miller over time, but it’s an adjective she now uses to characterize herself.

“Terry Miller is a loving person who cares about a lot of people,” Miller explained. “And I love my family and everyone who supports me.”

Miller says those words with ease. The comfort comes from knowing who she is.

“I know when she was younger she had a lot of anger,” Borawski said. “And I don’t see her as an angry person at all anymore. Because I think she finally gets to be herself.”

Running is also part of Miller’s identity and an outlet for self-expression. When the topic of running is mentioned, her brown eyes open a little wider. She’s excited. She’s in her element.

“It's the just feeling of it. When the wind is blowing while you're running, it just feels good,” Miller said. “Track helps me forget about everything, and I love it.”

Miller comes from a big family with a lot of track history. She has six siblings and is the third oldest. Her father participated in high school track in Jamaica. Miller’s favorite track athlete is Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce. She sees herself in the Jamaican sprinter who won gold medals in the 100 meters at the 2008 and 2012 Olympic Games.

Miller didn’t start the sport until high school, but found her niche in the sprints. As a ninth-grader at Bulkeley High in Hartford, she competed on the boys team. Then, early last year, Miller was listed on the girls roster.

She surpassed Connecticut State Open records in the 100 meters (11.72) and 200 meters (24.17) and capped off her season by winning the New England High School Championship 100 (11.97) and 200 (24.43) titles.

Her wins, though, didn’t come without opposition from some competitors and parents.

But for Miller, making sure she’s happy and being true to herself, involves a mindset to block out distractions and just keep running.

The Connecticut Interscholastic Athletic Conference, which Miller competes in, follows the Connecticut state law, which allows high school athletes to compete in the sport based on the gender they identify with.

Right now, the 17-year-old Miller is still running, and running fast. She’s in the midst of her junior outdoor track season, and gearing up for the state meet once again even though she confirmed that she has begun to take medication to lower her testosterone.

“I don’t say anything. I just run,” Miller said of responding to critics. “I feel like that speaks up more than my words.”

But it’s not easy to stay above the fray. 

“We suppress so much of who we are, or embellish so much of who we are, based on what we see on social media,” Borawski said. “And nowadays I think kids are super influenced on what they see on social media and everything that is out there. The courage that she (Miller) has had to be true to her center and who she really is, is remarkable.”

INTELLIGENT

“It makes me happy,” Miller says to a small group of media members.

It’s mid-February and Miller just won the 55-meter dash at the Connecticut Indoor State Open. Her hands start to move in animatedly as she begins to answer a question about her teammates.  

“Being a student-athlete is hard. You have to keep up with school and track and we managed to do both,” Miller explains. “And I’m proud of the boys and the girls.”

Miller’s voice wavers just the slightest at the word ‘proud.’ Being part of the Bloomfield High track and field team, even if less than a year, means something to Miller.

The summer going into her junior year, Miller transferred from Bulkeley to Bloomfield High, roughly 10 miles away. One of the first people Miller sought out at her new school was Borawski. In the sixth grade at Noah Webster MicroSociety Magnet School, Borawski’s husband, Jason, was one of Miller’s favorite teachers.

“Terry and I had a bond instantly,” Borawski said. “She has cried on my shoulder many times. We have a very strong relationship. I think that she knows I know where she’s been.”

Borawski describes Bloomfield High as a home away from home for many of its students. It’s become that for Miller, too.

“They saw that I got hate from certain people, and as soon as I walked in, they were just like loving and got to know me,” Miller said.

Her arrival did stir some early pushback by the community. It wasn’t anything too serious, but there is a learning curve for everyone, Borawski explained.

“I can say whole-heartedly at this point, she’s part of our family,” Borawski said. “She’s open to being a Warhawk and working hard at practice.”

In the classroom, Miller’s friendly and exuberant persona has been allowed to shine without any reservation. Borawski said in Spanish class she’s not afraid to ask a question and engage with her peers.

“She’s got a certain level of confidence I also see on the track,” Borawski explained. “I don’t think in her previous environment she was challenged. I feel like she’s challenged here athletically and academically.”

On the track, Miller has been able to grow as a runner, joining a program known for its hard work and consistency. She put in time this past summer. She joined the cross county team in the fall and ran more miles than she’d ever done before. This past winter, Miller helped the Warhawks claim their 10th straight Class S title and win the State Open. She won the 55 meters, the 300 meters and was part of the second-place 4x400 relay at the Open.

On May 30, Bloomfield will make a run at their 11th straight outdoor S crown.

“I just love my new team,” Miller explained at the Indoor State Open. “They push me to run harder; they help me focus on my races. I feel like I got better.”

Miller calls her life a journey.

At the sportswriters’ award ceremony, she reaches a particularly poignant moment in her acceptance speech when she describes her transfer to Bloomfield and meeting coach Anne Burrows. 

“When I was down she lifted me up,” Miller says, pausing with emotion. “When I was down she lifted me and made sure I kept my head high.”

Borawski, who has known Burrows for 13 years, calls her a champion for Miller in every way.

“She is absolutely exactly what Terry needed, in terms of a role model, an advocate and a coach. She’s by far the best coach I’ve ever worked with in terms of showing young girls their potential,” Borawski said. “She’s such a positive influence in Terry’s life in terms of just making sure she’s taken care of, making sure she’s protected, that she knows her rights and that she knows her value.”

Another part of Miller’s journey has included Yearwood, a current junior from Cromwell High, who came out publicly as a female transgender student-athlete before Miller did. The two first met April 27, 2018 at the Greater Bristol Invitational. They finished 1-2 in the 100 and 200 meters, both dipping under the previous meet-record times. The two had connected before via social media, talking track and being transgender.

The both compete for schools in Class S and see each other regularly on the starting line. They have faced similar scrutiny while continuing to run. They offer one another support. 

“It means a lot because I don’t have to hold stuff in,” Miller said of her friendship with Yearwood.  “And we can relate because we are transgender, so we know the feeling ... so I’m happy about that.”

HOLLYWOOD

It’s January and Miller is up against a wall in the entrance of Coxe Cage at Yale University. Ear buds are in. Phone is in hand. She’s just competed at the Yale Indoor Track Classic. She won the 300 meterse, but false started in the 55 dash finals. Like many teenagers, she has her music, headphones, her phone …  all ways to escape the real world.

“I have a playlist I listen to while I warm up, and then after I just put it down and just take deep breaths and just get ready for my race,” Miller said.

Nicki Minaj is Miller’s go-to artist as she gets ready to compete.

While only racing for a few years, track and field has become Miller’s thing. She has a pre-race routine worked out to make sure she always stays focused.

When asked about her hobbies outside of running, she still lists track and field as No. 1. She says she wants to run in college. But she also likes getting pretty and watching Netflix. She’s currently engrossed in the series “Pretty Little Liars.”

“I feel like I’m Hollywood because I like to get pretty and stuff,” she says with a self-assured smile.

Miller is also focusing on her future.

“She talks to me a lot about how much she wants to have a family of her own one day,” Borawski said.

Miller’s favorite memory was the Central Connecticut Conference Championships in January when she clocked a personal-best time of 6.91 in the 55.

“That day felt good,” she said.

Miller won the New England Indoor 55 (6.94) and 300 (39.27) titles last March, but didn’t compete at the New Balance Indoor Nationals in New York.

“Not everyone competes there. It’s fun to, (but) I don’t have too. New Balance doesn’t define how good my season was,” she said.

This past fall, the National Scholastic Athletics Foundation, an organization dedicated to the support of junior age (sub-20) and high school track and field, came out with the Transgender Participation Policy & Procedure. According to NSAF, “Pre-pubescent transgender girls are eligible for NSAF competitions based on their affirmed gender. Consistent with USATF rules and IOC guidelines, post-pubescent transgender girls are eligible for NSAF competitions based on their affirmed gender once they have completed a year’s course of gender affirming hormones. Gender affirming surgery may also satisfy the policy requirements but is not required.”

The outside world wanted to know if Miller had started hormone therapy. Is she on puberty blockers? Is she doing anything to make it more fair to her female competitors?

“We’ve had cry-it-out session many times, her and I,” Borawski explains. “When things gets overwhelming, my biggest piece of advice to her is, it’s not a her problem, it’s a them problem. That’s not something she’s doing wrong.”

Yearwood's mom, Ngozi Nnaji, supporting her daughter and Miller at the awards ceremony, wanted Miller to speak for herself and to the parts of her story she's most comfortable addressing. And for now, that's the running. The school work. The dreams. The connections and relationships.

This spring she won the New York Relays 100 meters (11.88) title and has also started competing in the long jump. She has goals of getting stronger and learning how to compete when tired.

“She told me she can’t see herself not being a runner,” Borawski said. “She also spoke about wanting to come back and coach here (at Bloomfield) after her career is over. I know that she wants to share her gift and work ethic with others and teach.”

Back at the Turf Club, Miller finishes her acceptance speech by thanking her family for always being there for her, and then her voice catches again. She’s still more teenager than Hollywood, more 17-year old than polished Nicki Minaj.

One of her family members shouts out, “We love you.”

She’s able to continue.

“Thank you to my family for always being there for me … even though I wasn’t there for myself. And I’m proud to be here today.”